On Being a Thief, Fraudster, Scammer

I overpaid myself $74.00 roughly at a job I worked for 4 years, about 3 years ago. In that case the amount of overtime and underbilling I had done for the company was without a doubt, from what I totaled, to be in the many thousands. When COVID started and most people stopped working, were locked up at home, or not doing much work if they still could, my job went into overdrive. There was a financial backup plan, for the backup plan, for the previous backup plan. Every penny, every way we could possibly slice the budget, was accounted for and presented - every single week, if not daily. Every idea that could possibly put the company in a position to cut costs, resources, and be as flexible as possible was conceived, analyzed, and carried out. This on top of the company moving forward with finding a buyer for itself - an M&A job in and of itself - on top of day-to-day, and on top of the all the work COVID brought with it: the Paycheck Protection Program Loans, the Employee Retention Tax Credit programs, a few layoffs and reshuffling. The overtime was plenty. But I accidentally paid myself $74.00. Sure, I’m the most thieving, awful person on the planet. I actually got criticized for that. Sure, one should not accidentally over pay themselves. But can the debatably highly intelligent people involved in this charade apply context to the situation? Or is that too taxing on you all? I wrote a check to pay the money back.

Much later I went back and did hourly work for the company I was employed by during COVID - always underbilling as it was being sold or would inevitably close its doors; I was just happy for the work honestly. Though I’m sure the boss I had at this job would balk at me for doing this, as he operates in an entirely different way - and would say he didn’t ask me to do this.

I once almost left the grocery checkout line without paying for a box of Sugar in the Raw, and one other roughly $5.00 item. I offered to the grocery store checkout person to stand at the back of the line again. She let me make a second purchase of the items missed. I once almost left the exit doors of a grocery store and noticed my 1 lemon hadn’t made it through checkout. So, I left it in the grocery basket at the store. That’s when I learned I liked my wilted spinach plenty with only garlic and oil; lemon not needed. I once ate lunch with an intern and forgot to take my salad through checkout because she had already paid and got so lost into talking about where we were going to eat. I get a little anxious sometimes spending time with people I don’t know well - especially really smart, talented ones in a professional setting like this gal who was attending an ivy league school. So, I forgot to pay. Not sure how or why I thought about it, but as soon as I remembered, I went back to the lunch place and paid. The same thing happened at a coffee shop with a muffin, but this time it was the barista’s fault. I didn’t correct it on the visit, as when I was walking out to do so, both baristas were busy and I was trolled the whole time I was there - just so ready to leave and chose not to deal with it then. So, I went back and paid for the muffin a few days later. Are we awake? Right. That’s how I feel. But a thief I gather.

On being a scammer. I picked up on this accusation in a pretty indirect way. But one I feel confident my trollers and you all believe. I don’t feel like explaining why I suspect this accusation. But what I have done - mostly for myself - is outline all the work I did at the CFO job I left, the job from fucking hell I took after that which deserves no name, and of course Blue Origin with proof of performance reviews and my own word, especially knowing I made the leadership team of a new product (though I realize for absolutely no justifiable or proven reason, my word means nothing now, and I was too stupid to save a copy of that leadership assignment email as proof).

I know Blue Origin thinks I was stealing information because I would use the SnagIt software to take images of slides presented in meetings. I did this because my memory is shit, because I was using the information to work, because I was learning a completely new industry with new products, because I’m a highly visual person, because I didn’t want to bother anyone with follow-up or stupid questions, and most importantly because I had already experienced my closest coworker not sharing information. I did nothing with those screen shots but save them to the laptops I had. I don’t given enough of a shit about anyone or anything to do them wrong. That’s what Blue Origin employees do, not me. And that’s exactly why I could possibly be suspected of doing something malicious with those screen shots, because that is something they would do - malicious harm to another - it is what they do, not me. I have used the software SnagIt at home and at most of my jobs. I know people balked at me for doing this because I was insulted for doing it in meetings. Yet I did nothing with these screen shots but learn from them. No evidence or proof of wrongdoing exists because I know I did nothing wrong. Yet, somehow, I feel confident in my suspicions that this may be one of the reasons why my work laptop, and all my work files mysteriously disappeared.

I also suspect I’m thought to have scammed Blue Origin because I was on drugs at work. I was not on drugs at work. I never did drugs at work. I smoked marijuana at home. I was sad getting to work every morning sober. Beyond painfully fucking sad that I was sober. I may have still appeared high but trust me, my painfully sober depression had already set in for the day. This was all after the change in management resulted in reassigning all of my work and I started to get harassed for using the bathroom and eating a banana at my desk.

If you think I stole anything from Blue Origin, information or time, trust me when I say Blue Origin lost nothing in stealing my mental and physical health, my time that I spent working many weekends, 30% of everything I owned that I gave up to move to Seattle, and my entire fucking life that I gave up to move to Seattle that I will never get back - along with the $10K-$15K of relocation benefits I left on the table of Blue Origin willingly because I didn’t feel I had earned it yet. What a scammer and a thief, huh? Exactly who came out of that relationship hurt in any way? Oh right, the employees that couldn’t handle a door opening and closing when I used the bathroom - I can see the grave detriment to their lives.

I explained the work I did at these companies. I can’t make up that many work situations and actions taken. I purposely put that same list of work publicly visible on LinkedIn - the items that had actually been completed. Any employer can reach out an address a “lie” I’ve included. Anyone, at any time. I’d be happy to discuss my work with them. You know in that thing no one does - a direct, honest conversation.

Like I’ve already written, I asked Diib for feedback as a new CFO, at least twice, if not more. Neither time was a discussion had. I did a lot of work for this company. I regret quitting. But in no way shape or form did I scam them out of anything. I later offered to do any work they needed for free, even customer service work, to make up for any unintentional wrongdoing. It was my right to quit a job. It may not have been the best course of action for anyone. But it was not immoral or illegal, and I gained nothing but great harm done to myself for doing so. And there was little to no communication that ever flowed my way to even show I was valued or needed.

The company I worked at after, micromanaged every key stroke, every word spoken, every movement I made. My computer activity, everything. What they feel they did not get from me, I would argue, is on them. It’s also on them that the newly created position I filled was not needed. I did my best to build work into the position that helped a shortage of resources elsewhere in the company to make up for this - helping ops with inventory and manufacturing with admin. Because they complained about everything, and managed everything from their vantage point only, there was only so much I could do. My most important job duty was putting together a budget, so each department knew how many snacks and gift cards they could buy throughout the year. That’s how my manager chose to deploy my skills. That’s what was important to the company. I am sorry I was criticized so much I had to quit before finishing the snack budget.

I repaid the net amount of money I received from the micromanaging employer as a reimbursement to me for the financial loss I incurred falling for a fraud scheme (I repeatedly asked not to be paid) the money that I was scammed out of on the job due to my own inability to see it was a scam - I repaid the money received to the Austin animal shelter upon days of resigning - the employer’s charity of choice. This, without a doubt, shows how much me, my work, my voice, my skills, my talents, my viewpoints were disregarded. I REPEATEDLY asked not to be paid. And I was paid any way. If the scam text hadn’t read, “I just walked into a meeting”, about 30-60 seconds after the CEO literally just walked into a meeting - I would have been more attuned and almost without a doubt caught on to the scam. I always wondered if it was an inside job.

On being a fraudster. I had a conversation with my last remaining friend (who believes I’m a liar and a heroin-user-wannabe) recently about filing taxes. I didn’t want to report $3K of income because I didn’t receive a 1099. Yea, I actually mulled that over - how’s that honesty for you. And see, you think I’m a liar. My friend’s disgust for me at having even actually thought it over was palatable through the silence over the phone. Yet, I’m sure his billionaire buddy and every other disgustingly rich person out there is avoiding every tax dollar they can - legally or illegally. I mulled my decision over knowing I’d likely never see another earned dollar again in my life at age 47. And I mulled it over knowing I’m a really generous tipper; I do put money out into the world. I can say my friend, who treated me with disgust over wanting to avoid my taxes, mulls over shorting every worker of a tip imaginable. Who is the more disgusting? See - it sucks when someone judges and insults you doesn’t it.

I paid the tax by the way.

Back to being a fraudster. I suspect this for a few reasons, one being a friend I had (classy guy) went dark when I reached out to him via LinkedIn. He’s never been like that. And he had recently viewed my LinkedIn profile - like most people who were interviewed during my background investigation. He and I worked together over 20 years ago at a mortgage company. The owner then accused of fraud. The owner whom I dated. Through this friend going dark on me, being trolled and treated like filth as a thief in public, through Bill Wendlandt’s mind games of having an “employee who is stealing from him”, and a few other weird occurrences, I’m picking up on people thinking that I’ve somehow made some imaginary financial gain in the world that I’ve never had the experience of benefitting from. But please, do tell me what I frauded, scammed, and stole so I can learn what my “parallel me” has had the luxury of enjoying.

On dating a man accused of fraud. I was working at the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners when the FBI came to visit me in the middle of a workday. They asked me questions about the man I dated who ran the mortgage company, the company, and my role - if I’m not mistaken or so I assume - I don’t remember any of the questions to be honest. I knew I did nothing wrong and knew nothing of any fraud, so I didn’t file that experience away in anything to remember or be scared of. I do know the FBI visited me in my place of business. But visited everyone else at their homes. Fucking assholes.

What I knew and remember of the man who was accused of fraud - he loved money, he was risky, he could get a mortgage for anyone-even the gentleman who sold ice cream from a pushcart walking down the street. What he bought me: dinners (which were expensive plates of salad and wine <sarcasm>), a few clothes from Nieman Marcus Last Call, and one vacation to Florida for Art Basil in its first year - he bought me postcards and a bag from the art show. That’s it. He gave me a few hand-me-downs: two lamps and a couple of wall hangings. That’s the extent of my financial gain from the alleged fraudster. Have fucking fun with that.

My salary at that job with the alleged fraudster, lower $30Ks. I was really living it up huh? I could afford a base model Mazda sedan and everything! The money he gave me - $0. The amount of work we talked about - not a clue to 0%.

There was a financial Controller who worked at the company who was the position between the alleged fraudster and myself as the bookkeeper.

I didn’t get into business until shortly before going back to graduate school. Working at the mortgage company never peaked my interest in business. Truth be told - it was the first time in life I only had 40 hours a week of responsibility and could actually pay my bills with money left over. Prior to, I was always working and going to school since I was 15 years old. I was always putting in well more than 40 hours a week - especially in undergrad. I remember nights only sleeping a few hours then standing back at the shuttle stop at 6-7am or so; it was physically and mentally painful (I worked and went to school over the summers too). I had no fucking clue what to do with myself having only 40 hours a week of responsibility at my first job out of school. So, what did I do? Socialize and party. That’s how I turned into a party girl. And if I’m being honest and I am, I likely didn’t give a fuck when my boyfriend, the alleged fraudster, was doing. I was doing and seeing things well beyond my economic class and status (with older friends and my boyfriend) - I was having fun which was way more engaging than any mortgage my boyfriend had to talk about. But anyone can make up the stories they want. Unfortunately, this sad and boring one is the truth. A shallow party girl.

As for my boyfriend after that, he was accused and tried for fraudulent activity. We never talked about his work. But we spent a lot of time talking about his criminal case. The group he worked for was somehow, briefly associated with my ex-boyfriend the alleged mortgage fraudster. The only thing I remember is this boyfriend being tried for fraud was customer facing in sales with little to no knowledge of internal company operations. He was guilty of (and punished for, if I’m not mistaken) suspecting something dirty may be under the rug and never lifting up the rug to find out. He was an amazingly kind, loving and generous person. What he bought me: a cat, a gym membership, Rudy’s BBQ, PF Chang’s, and a few nice dinners. I think I remember we enjoyed each other a lot. Or at least I hope that’s what he remembers. We stayed in a lot, we hung out only us two a lot. He was under a great deal of stress and not up for being around many people. That was okay with me.

When I worked for Bill Wendlandt, I always made well below market salary for my education. It was okay for me. I liked working for a small, local operation. It’s what I wanted. I made in the $30Ks the first time I worked for bill with a BBA. And maybe not even $50K or in the low $50Ks as an MBA the second time I worked for Bill. You can tell I was chasing money, right?

I’ll say it again. I rent 700 sq ft. to live. Drive used or base model cars. Do not travel. Have little of value unless it’s my mattress, my laptop, or gifted to me. The only reason I even owned iPhones was because my first one was a gift. I kept each phone until it was broken or no longer feasible to keep using. Now I own a $200 phone just to have access to a map, and because I talk to no one. Had to make the switch because Blue Origin without a doubt hacked my iPhone and mocked, trolled, and shared all my private information with the public.

Isn’t the real story exciting? Not at all the story that has kept you all entertained, hating, belittling, disrespecting, judging, and no longer engaging with me on a loving or human level - because apparently there is some made up story that exists of scams, frauds, and theft. I’d love to know those stories. My life could use some entertainment as apparently those who made up the stories needed entertainment too.

You have no idea how bad your words and actions hurt. And you all did it all on purpose, thinking I could take it and be okay. You truly have no idea, as I’m told I should be grateful and happy. As I have been hated, treated like fucking shit worthy of nothing by employers, the public, by my friends, by my family. And I should be grateful and happy my life has been torn up, with only my dog and a few years of savings left. As I am treated like someone I am not - that I know I am not. My dog alone is worth more than you all combined. But that doesn’t ease any pain or make me “happy” not a single person in my life trusts or respects me. AND FOR NO FUCKING REASON. I smoked some dope in my spare time. Is that your reason for treating me like a heroin user, a liar, a floozy, a thief, a scammer, a fraudster, an overeater, a manipulator, a gunman, a jealous asshole, a belittler, etc.?

I smoked a little dope to stuff my feelings and escape my problems. How the fuck do you turn that into every fucking accusation in the world - from theft, to heroin, to lies? Are you that bored? That evil and hateful? Blue Origin is. I didn’t think my friends and family were too.